10 Funny New Year's Resolutions for 2020

It’s that time of year again. The pressure is on to commit to a New Year’s resolution before the clock strikes 12 on December 31. And we know how hard it can be to find a goal that you won’t abandon before spring.

To save you some time, we’ve scoured Twitter for the best New Year’s resolution quotes we could find. Use these as inspiration for your own 2020 resolutions.

Lofty Resolutions

It’s the beginning of a new decade, so it’s as good a time as any to set some ambitious goals! Here at iHire we always encourage big ideas, but we’ve gotten pretty good at taking lofty goals and breaking them into actionable, realistic steps. Keep thinking big, but don’t put pressure on yourself to tackle it all in 2020.

my new year's resolution is to stop all the pollution

— Anthony (@LovatelOficial) December 9, 2019

We’re not sure if this was meant to be a funny New Year’s resolution or if it was an earnest declaration. Either way, we love the enthusiasm and the sentiment. To avoid disappointment by year end, he may consider starting with some smaller goals, like reducing his own carbon footprint or organizing an activist group in his community.

Should my new year resolution be no more chips? Too risky to confirm rn, I’ll sit on that proposition

— Rafael Alvarado (@Fye537) December 17, 2019

If your resolution seems unattainable, then pare it down a bit. For example, Rafael could vow to eat fewer chips in 2020 instead of none at all.

iHire’s Lofty New Year’s Resolution Idea | Find your dream job.

While it takes a lot of time and effort to find a new job, it’s worth it when you find a meaningful opportunity. Plus, we’ve developed advanced tools and industry-specific communities to make your job search easier. If you’re ready to find your next great opportunity, we’re here to help.

Modest Resolutions

We all know that most resolutions don’t make it past January. If you’ve historically ditched yours, try making them easier to attain. These New Year’s resolution quotes will give you the right idea.

2020 resolution: put more dried fruits in things. raisins, cranberries, dates. love those wrinkly boys

— smebble bear (@Smebble) December 17, 2019

This person really knows how to enjoy the little things. Try making a small resolution like this one that will give you little boosts of happiness throughout the year.

My New Year's resolution is to wait until pizza cools so I don't burn the roof of my mouth. Honestly, don't like my chances.

— Nancy Matson (@NancyMatson1) December 18, 2019

This may be one of the most relatable New Year’s resolution quotes in 2020. While it will take a bit of self-constraint, it’s attainable enough that Nancy has a good chance of sticking to it. We’ll be rooting for her as we continue to burn our mouths.

I'm excited to officially announce my 2020 resolution!
I'm going to buy crocs and I won't be stopped!

— 🔪! (@kailsforreals) December 18, 2019

When your resolution is as simple as working up the courage to buy Crocs, it’s easy to get excited about. Use that excitement to stick to your guns and follow through with your goal.

iHire's Modest New Year's Resolution Idea | Update your resume.

If you’ll be looking for a new job in 2020, your resume will need to be in tip-top shape to stand out from other candidates. Use our tools to improve your resume. Or, we’ll write your resume for you.

Social Resolutions

It’s easy to put your head down and keep to yourself, but it’s usually more rewarding when you try to make a connection with those around you (yes, even strangers). While these funny New Year’s resolutions may make you laugh, they’ve got some wisdom to offer.

My 2020 Resolutions Number 1: Be one of those weirdos that waves at strangers

— Ok Böbby Yoda (@Bob_Janke) December 16, 2019

You never know when one of those waves could turn into a conversation, and when one of those conversations could turn into a great friendship, opportunity, or experience.

My only resolution for 2020 is to attend more events that have cheese boards.

— Babs (@BabsSzabo) December 17, 2019

While she may have an ulterior motive, we commend her for getting out there. She’s bound to make some connections while she’s staked out by the food table.

iHire’s Social New Year’s Resolution Idea | Build your professional network.

Networking is a great way to make connections and discover new opportunities. Get yourself out there in 2020 – even if it’s just for the cheese board.

Honest Resolutions

We love honesty here at iHire – in fact, transparency is one of our core values. So naturally, these New Year’s resolution quotes hit home for us. Remember to cut yourself a break in 2020, and keep working on those goals even if, admittedly, you slipped up a bit.

I forgot my watch and glasses at home, and just found my AirPods in the work fridge. #NewYearNewMe

— Amy Skeens (@AmyBethSkeens) December 17, 2019

Hey, it’s okay. People aren’t perfect. Not even in 2020.

just completed my new year resolutions for 2011

— follow me only if you're sad (@peedekaf) December 11, 2019

Most people have forgotten their resolutions from 2019, so we consider this a win. When you’re making your 2020 New Year’s resolutions, think of them as goals for the long term (not just for the year). That way, you’ll feel less pressure and more encouraged to take steps in the right direction.

I always pack on the pounds this time of year to make my New Year's weightloss resolution more dramatic. #2020

— Poor Me Another (@WinkingSun) December 18, 2019

What lesson can we learn from this New Year’s resolution quote? 1) It doesn’t hurt to think ahead, and 2) there’s always a bright side. And when it comes to sticking to your goals, staying positive is key.

iHire’s Honest New Year’s Resolution Idea | No resolutions at all.

If you’re not into New Year’s resolutions, that’s okay. Sometimes it’s easier to think of self-improvement as an ongoing initiative.

If you do plan on setting some goals for 2020, we hope this list of funny New Year’s resolutions gives you some inspiration. Whether your resolutions are lofty or modest, social or honest, we know you have what it takes to achieve them this year and beyond.